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Barto · 04-02-2008, 11:42 AM

After near a couple of decades of sobriety, I am going back through the steps again (which I do periodically). And I too am at Step Three. I have been reading over this step on pages 62 and 63, studying these pages, and trying to recall all the times that someone has harmed me, or those times that I got pissed off because things didn’t work out the way I thought they should – my way! What I actually find is that, invariably, I made some decision based on self that put me in this position that later caused the particular hurt – just like the book says. (I assume you are reading pages 62 through 63 now and that you know what I am talking about.)

Taken properly, Step Three is no easy step. It may be mechanically simple, but it is not so easy for many of us. The book says “we thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready, that we could at last abandon ourselves…” So, here I sit, having recalled these times that I have been seriously hurt and having recalled all these decisions based on self that put me in the positions to be hurt; I can see specifically where, out of selfishness, I set myself up to be hurt! (BTW, I could not even see my faults in the beginning, practically none anyway. Thank God for sponsors who help us with these steps.) Anyway, is this factual information – that of myself I am self destructive – enough for me to take the plunge? Is this enough reality, enough logic? No! LOL. I am now looking at the alternative to taking this step – in the spirit of being ready, seriously.

So, I am now looking at what would likely happen if I don’t take this step; what would happen if I reverted to self-will. That’s where I am right now. My instinct is to write that I would most likely wind up in the same place I was when I was under the delusion that I had control. I would be back at bottom, bankrupt in almost everyway!

I intended to write a short reply, but, probably because I am in the middle of this step myself and have a lot of stuff on my mind, I’ve written too much and maybe a little too scattered. I have more to say on the subject, but I’ll hold it for now, except to say:

I don’t know whether any of this will help you. It’d be nice if it did. But your thread forced me to write (even more than I posted) and it has helped me! I'm certain that’s a big part of how it works. Thank you!

04-02-2008, 11:42 AM	#7 (permalink)
Barto Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Righthere, Rightnow Posts: 1,497	So, you're here too? After near a couple of decades of sobriety, I am going back through the steps again (which I do periodically). And I too am at Step Three. I have been reading over this step on pages 62 and 63, studying these pages, and trying to recall all the times that someone has harmed me, or those times that I got pissed off because things didn’t work out the way I thought they should – my way! What I actually find is that, invariably, I made some decision based on self that put me in this position that later caused the particular hurt – just like the book says. (I assume you are reading pages 62 through 63 now and that you know what I am talking about.) Taken properly, Step Three is no easy step. It may be mechanically simple, but it is not so easy for many of us. The book says “we thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready, that we could at last abandon ourselves…” So, here I sit, having recalled these times that I have been seriously hurt and having recalled all these decisions based on self that put me in the positions to be hurt; I can see specifically where, out of selfishness, I set myself up to be hurt! (BTW, I could not even see my faults in the beginning, practically none anyway. Thank God for sponsors who help us with these steps.) Anyway, is this factual information – that of myself I am self destructive – enough for me to take the plunge? Is this enough reality, enough logic? No! LOL. I am now looking at the alternative to taking this step – in the spirit of being ready, seriously. So, I am now looking at what would likely happen if I don’t take this step; what would happen if I reverted to self-will. That’s where I am right now. My instinct is to write that I would most likely wind up in the same place I was when I was under the delusion that I had control. I would be back at bottom, bankrupt in almost everyway! I intended to write a short reply, but, probably because I am in the middle of this step myself and have a lot of stuff on my mind, I’ve written too much and maybe a little too scattered. I have more to say on the subject, but I’ll hold it for now, except to say: I don’t know whether any of this will help you. It’d be nice if it did. But your thread forced me to write (even more than I posted) and it has helped me! I'm certain that’s a big part of how it works. Thank you!