| Two Deaths
Good post Rufus,
As a hopeless alcoholic, I must die two deaths: I must die the alcoholic death, this comes in the form of surrender, a powerful 1st step experience is the catalyst for this experience.
On a daily basis I must be willing to die the death of self: Today my practice consists of the following disciplines: Waking up giving thanks and praying on my knees by my bed (My dog is always curious about this) I go downstairs and turn the coffee on, I sit and watch my breath and listen, sometimes I will write down guidance that comes to me, I check to see if it is God's will by applying the four absolutes of the Oxford Group.I try my best to take action on the guidance.
throughout the day I work with the 10 step, pause, watch, ask, turn. At night I do my review, sit quietly and write inventory when necessary.
This process maintains my conscious contact with God and keeps me safe and protected. I do not do this perfectly,,, at all, however I am willing to continue to submit to this process for reasons of self interest. I like who I am most days, I am not insane, and life on God's terms is a heck of a lot better than life on my terms. In this condition I can be of service, free of the bondage of self.
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