[LegalLady]

I go to the meetings and I work with my sponsor BUT, is still don't feel nothing. I still feel nothing like I felt empty when I drank. Its only like 42 days or something like that. I don't like counting. I keep a book at home that keep track of so when my sponsor ask me I can actually tell her. And I think about drinking still all the time. I feel like I don't have a desire to do anything and I still feel groggy and foggy in the morning. I'm still crying at meetings. I try not to cause when I was talking and stuff people were telling me I was too emotional and stuff so I just tried to be fake and smile and then they would say how happy I was and how I was changing but I'm not. I've been writing things down to talk to my sponsor about. I seen her tomorrow night. She was on some retreat this last weekend in the Ozarks. But I just don't feel right still. When do people feel good. I heard in meetings that alchololics want everything fast and it takes time, but sometimes people talk like they feel great and if I smile at all they rant and rave about it like I"m doing great and I'm not. I ball and tear up all the time and I feel guilty cause they comment on me smiling and then like 10 minutes later I'm crying. I just wish they'd quit looking at me. I'm not getting it or something. The not drinking part is kinda easy but I still feel well just as bad only not drunk. Sorry, I know this makes you uncomfortable cause I was told that in a meeting but I was also told that its a good thing cause its a reminder. Who knows. Am I making any sense or am I just babbling again.