[RufusACanal]

Sponsors are not parents. Guiding you through the Steps is the basis for Sponsorship, no more can be expected by either the Sponsor or the Sponsee. Make no mistake, this relationship is learning the AA Steps to a new life first. Your Sponsor is human and therefore just as prone as you to make mistakes. Like anything else in life, you must make decisions on your life's needed and if you truly do not have the money or the time for a retreat, then you do not have the resources. Hopefully your Sponsor has certain indications of your character and resources by now that no one on SR could ever equal. So any opinion given here will be flawed simply because of a lack of information.

You have completed a Fourth Step and you are aware of your defects and shortcomings. Supposedly, you have turned your will and your life over to a power greater than you in order to continue down the path of a new life. Make a decision; go or don't go. If made honestly and with good intent there will be no issue. Refocus on your continued learning, have patience, remember you do not have all of the answers, be forgiving and stop justifying your need to be right.

By the way, prayer is wonderful and necessary, but please do not use it as a cover for what you intend to do anyway. I have worked many Fifth Steps, why? For years I thought I had all of the answers, I did not. My "feelings" got in the way too many times. If this is as troublesome as you believe, then get your pen out and inventory this situation then share it with your Sponsor. Be upfront with your Sponsor and allow your Sponsor the opportunity to be human; you are not the center of the universe any longer. You have worked hard to get where you are, please do not allow your need to be right to get in the way of learning. Who is the student and who is the teacher was a lesson I had to learn over and over. Best with love to you.