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I felt like an alien when I first started going to meetings six months ago. It felt much like that first day of school when I was a kid and kept to myself.
The best thing to do in that situation (as I've learned in hindsight) is to raise your hand at the beginning of the meeting and say that you're new to the rooms, to that meeting, and share your day count (if you're counting days.) Most meetings I've been to ask at the beginning if there are any newcomers.
Most people who go to meetings (and most meetings I've been to) seem to be of the belief that the newcomer is the most important person in the room.
I tend to be someone who acts all superior and aloof around people I don't know, so I think my attempts at doing this were less than successful than I might have hoped. Still, after many weeks of just coming back, I have met lots of people and now rarely walk into a room where I'm not greeted by every other person I see.
Now I see newcomers coming in who just put themselves out there and raise their hand forthrightly, and people flock to them with phone numbers, rides, suggestions. It makes me think I lost out a little trying to be all cool and this and that when I first started coming.
I know for myself, part of the reason I enjoy socializing with the people I now know in the rooms is because after putting in a bit of effort, I am now comfortable with them in a way that was foreign to me for so many years. I know watching people who seem comfortable around each other when I myself am not comfortable can be disconcerting and alienating. But I have found that most of these folks are more than delighted to greet a newcomer who identifies him or herself as such in a direct and honest way.
Keep coming back.
M
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