Well, this is what happened.... Time and time again I thought I had hit rock bottom. Luckily, (but now I'm thinking not so much) my family was always there to bail me out. But lying my head down to go to sleep 2 nights ago, I FIANALLY realized what my rock bottom is: that I'm 36 years old and living with my parents; I have no transportation of my own; I have no job (I was an RN, but I lost my license due to this disease); I have absolutely NOTHING to call my own; I have no friends... Basically, because of my disease, I have lost everything I hold dear, and have been blind to the "have nots" in my life because I was focusing pretty much solely on the alcohol and not the inner conflicts. I am a 36 year old "little girl," so dependent on my family that I have to learn to function in society all over again. I have been in ond out of the rooms for the past 6 1/2 years, having only once really tried to work the steps... But now I am waiting on a bed in a treatment center, (yet AGAIN) and with a slowly clearing head, I finally see the utter chaos I have created. I finally TRULY see the "tornado roaring through the lives" of everyone I love that I have become. And this site has been part of helping me open my eyes.
Thanks...
Kai
