[angeldancer]

ok, so i haven't been here for a while. a couple of years, i first came to the website while in recovery from cocaine. now here i am,

about a year ago i started having chronic pain, i've had surgerys and tests and no one seems to know whats going on, now all the time i smoke weed to deal with the pain. i've been out of work and bed ridden every day since november. seen doctor after doctor, and now the only thing my doctor has to say is that i'm over reacting and that i'm just a depressed hypocondriac.

i'm not new to this whole depression deal, when i was 15 (i'm 20 now) i was admitted to a psyche ward twice. and now i have this doctor talking to me as if i've never heard of it before.

so she started perscribing me all these ****** up pills, all of them just left me in a fog. the last appointment i had was on wednesday and i basically lost it. i told her that the problem wasn't in my head, i told her straight up i didn't want any more anti depressants, that i wanted her to deal with my chronic pain but she won't. she keeps telling me its all in my head and its not.


so here i am, in bed day in day out, in too much pain to drive or work or do anything. i'm not going to say i'm happy, i am depressed but only because i can't function anymore.


basically on wednesday i told my doctor to **** off, i got pissed off and angry, its all so frustrating. i canceled the rest of my "check ups" with her.


so, to get to the point of all of this, what am i supposed to do? i can't keep smoking weed like this, and if i quit, how can i deal with the pain? how am i supposed to function?


i'm sorry for such a long rant, i don't even know if this post belongs here but i'm at such a loss. how am i supposed to get better?



thanks for listening, i'm sorry if its in the wrong place...



Robyn