:prayingplease help me understand what is BIPOLAR about 4,yrs ago I was diagnost with BIPOLAR please some one or any one HELP!! me

understand this disease is bad enough that I'm battleling with the disease of addiction now bipolar I feel like sometime's I'm going 2 loose my mind if it I thank GOD that he has carry me this far but I can't leave everything in GOD'S hand not that he cn doit but I got 2 do my part I'm so mad at my self because I never taugh that I will b affect it by my using I'm angry I need 2 adress this is been eating me inside 4r along time I been in denial 4r a quiet long time now on this bipolar issue I was taking prescription but my insurance was taking from me I don't have inssurance and I feel the disease of bipolar progress was kept me intact is my belief and faith in my high power whom I choose 2 call my LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST believing that by FAITH I'm heal I believe but when the symptoms manifest them self I could feel them lack of energie I don't want 2 take a bath I' issoliate my self my speach disorder my high's and low's 2 sensetive everrything bothers me I get irretaded fast my taught's racing fast I speak fast no coma no pause HELP ME PLEASE I need 2 understand wht kind of help is out there thank u :