[ksos]

Hi AbsentFriend...

It sounds to me as if you have a pretty darn good program in you life! I am and have been a licensed mental health practitioner for over 20 years--but I am a fellow mental health consumer and drug addict, so please just take what I say as my experience with the diagnostic implications of what you have experenced.

From my experience, I will tell you that Dysthymia is one of the most over-used diagnoses in the field, for it is a very comfortable diagnosis for both clinicians to use and the "easiest" for a client to accept. Most importantly, it is insurance reimbursable, and sadly, if you are using your insurance coverage for any of the treatment you have been receiving--you "fit" in with approximately 85% percent of those individuals who fit the followin profile: A highly functioning, middle to-upper-middle class individual with none to minimal dysfunction in the areas of occupational, social, and educational life events.

Essentially, you are diagnosed as a "normal" person who has a bout of the occasional blues. By the way, Genralized Anxiety Disorder or GAD, is also another safe and acceptable diagnosis by both clinicans and consumers. Just substitute the words "occasional blues" with the words "instances of free-floating sensations of anxiety or nervousness."

Based on the way you even wrote your post, it is evident to me that you are a highly educated person and I actually would keep that post--even print it out--if you are truly concerned about needing something relating to medication. It would be highly irresponsible for anyone to suggest you need medication on a message board. However, if you truly concerned about your repeated feelings of self-loathing (I happen to be concerned) as well as the recent suicidal thoughts (I am concerned), maybe a consultation with a psychiatrist would not be a bad idea.

I will say a few things about suicidality. No matter how "brief" or even unimportant they may seem now, this remains a serious concern.

When you mention suicidal thoughts-albeit brief in duration or content, a qualified mental health professional should ask you if you are still experiencing them now, if you have a plan to actually harm yourself, in what way would you attempt to harm yourself, and if you feel that you arwe not in control of your actions at this point in time.

If the answer to any of the above is yes, call '911 and wait for them to arrive.

I am adamantly opposed to giving any "medical advice" since I am not your MD. However, I believe what I just stated to you in terms of what you MUST do, supercedes any sanction that a forum like this may impose.

Good luck, anyway, and I think you are working a sound, appropriate mental health program for yourself! I think, however, that it could not hurt to get a second opinion from a Psychiatrist or Psychologist.