[orviske]

I have suffered from depression on and off throughout my lifetime, but recently I've been hit pretty hard. I asked my doc about an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant. It seemed to be working just fine the first week I was taking it (Lexapro 10mg). Other than side effects of restlessness, and loss of appetite, I was doing great.

The last few days I'm completely overwhelmed by my worthlessness. Ever have those days where you think running your car into a tree might make it a better day?

Currently I have a job that takes me on the road quite a bit. I detest this job. It takes me away from my family, and since I've just moved, I have no friends. It makes me miserable. I realized that I need to change my job to get some kind of stability in my life. I'm having a hard time finding something, which just seems to make the depression worse.

Typically I'm the go getter---I clean the house, and make the meals, and make everyone happy. The last four days I have felt paralyzed. Overwhelmed by my sadness. All I can seem to do is cry---much to the dismay of my significant other. And all I want is comfort. Someone to understand.....and I feel like no one does.


I mentioned that I felt really lonely. And he said...but you're surrounded by people......and isn't that funny how it works?

They just left (him and my step-son) And here I am...alone again. I hate being alone.

Alone, and rambling.


I wish I could say I felt better after writing this. I still feel like crawling in bed and not getting up until 2045.

K