[Jeff070204]

I saw the avalanche of reponses the thread on "sexual conduct" as it pertains to AA received, so rather than pile on, I thought I'd start a new thread.

This may be my favorite topic. Two things I've never understood -- and probably never will understand -- are people who are new in AA dating each other, and the unwritten "rule" against it.

When I finally had my last drink, I hadn't had sex in six months. After my last drink, I began a year-and-a-half long stretch of institutional living in men-only facilities, making dating -- logistically speaking, at the very least -- an unlikely possibility. Moreover, if I thought I had "LOSER" tattooed to my forehead before, now it was as if I'd been neutered.

I had no job, and hadn't for well over a year. I also had no job prospects, as I deemed myself essentially unemployable. (Who'd hire me after this, under these circumstances, right?) I had no money, no income, no car, and I lived in a halfway house with a bunch of ex-cons. And I had no reason whatsoever to think that any of these circumstances would change. My mood and outward behavior reflected my circumstances, and how I felt about them, and myself.

In short, I was a real catch. So when I heard the no-dating-for-a-year "rule", I thought it was some kind of sick joke.

"Awww -- ya mean I have to tell all these hotties who are beating a path to my door to get lost??"

Then I found out that not a few of the folks I saw at the meetings actually were getting with each other, and I was utterly baffled. I still am, actually.

I suppose I should mention also that a girl from AA essentially insisted that I date her when I had 18 months. I reluctantly went along with it. It lasted 5 days, and was a disaster.