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I was finally able to sleep last night. Took a while to fall asleep but I ended up sleeping for 9 hours. My husband left me 3 messages about how he knows that he did this to us and that he understands whatever decision I make. Then left two more telling me that he needs a decision now and that I'm not being supportive and how can I not call him and tell him I love him. You know, if I do talk to him it goes from good, where he sounds so understanding of my side of things, to blaming me, where he says that he's dealing with this alone and why would a wife leave a husband to go through this alone, to down right mad where he asks if it would help my decision if all my stuff was out on the sidewalk when I got back home. Every time. I don't want to talk to him and make him worse. I feel that every time he uses me as his excuse to blow up or at least uses me as his verbal punching bag. He doesn't realize what he's doing, does he? He doesn't remember what he put me through the last wee, does he? Or is he conveniently not dealing with it? I'm nervous about going back to get my things because he might blow up. My family wants to go with me to help but I don't want them to be around him when he gets like that.
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