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They slammed me for 5 hours (1 gram per hour intervenously), I am still hacking up pieces of me innards, and it's really pissin my spinal doctor off to no end. Seems the hacking won't let my spine heal right and the $30,000 dollars worth of titanium heal in its proper position. He wants 2 more days and if it aint straightened out, he has to decide what to do.
1.) Wait for the infection to pass completely, then do another MRI and CAT scan and see how much damage (if any) has been done. This is the most likely scenario.
2.) Wait for the infection to pass completely, then damn the torpedoes and does an exploratory surgery (he said there is almost certainly damage the way my legs are going numb again and the lefty paralyzing and spasming.
Since the day Laura stood in my hallway with her bags packed and I dropped to my knees in surrender, I have HAD to Believe in a power greater than myself could take over and run the shipwreck that was my existence. Today, I know it to be a fact. It is NOT my belief. It is NOT my hope. It is my bloody UNDERSTANDING *pounding the table*.
Ya see folks. Drunks like me have to abandon the mindset of the newcomer at some point predestined by this magnificent HP, whom I choose to call God, a man, that lived 2000 years ago and made such an impression on the entire globe that to this day billions call Him God; We abandon the mindset that says; "Well, maybe that works for you, But...".Saddest of all are those that leave the tables sayin; "Maybe this A.A. thing work for you, But...," Then while you are comfortable in your shop, wrenchin on your '37 knuck and the scanner goes off. Ya hop in the truck with yer best friend who is a paramedic, and he looks at you and and says; This is a car bike pile up." Without ever havin any knowledge of what kind of accident it could or couldn't be cuz the disptch didn't say. And ya get there and the newcomer that pounded his fist on the tables or yer local home club sayin we had nothin to offer him; belches out his last death rattle as Beagle hels his head in his lap weepin like a child. D@mn, all I could do was sit there and ask myself how a guy who knew ho bad I was could doubt A.A., doubt the Power that held me in His Arms for fVcking years..., and ya, I am bawlin right now. You can think what ya want of me, I don't care a tinkers d@mn. Because the same power that could have saved that newcomer is gonna get me through this ordeal in spades. THis; I KNOW. I aint sorry for the chance to spill my guts here, I am grateful someone will take the time to read it.
It sure made me feel better.
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