[guitarzan]

Thank you for the replys she tells me it is one paxel a day and some times 1 or 2 xanax only when she feels anxious. I am getting very tired of pretending she in not stoned it is not like she gets wild or crazy just distant and I dont think it is a everyday thing but It seems to be getting more often here lately. I have put my head in the sand for the past 2 months and now with the holidays here I just dont think it would be good to end it( I just read what i wrote and i think I am afraid if i do end it she may go off the deep end and that would make me feel worse than i do now) that sounds to me to be very codependent. we have been thru some ruff times this past year she had a dui and i have tried to tell her if she got stoped or in a accident and they tested her it would a sec dui guess you can justify anything if you really want to. maybe i have caused a lot of this because i paid for all of it maded it to easy altho she had to do 10 days in jail and that seemed to change her plus the counsling for about 6 months during that time she did not smoke( during that time she was the most loving and wonderful person you could ever want to be with) because of drug testing after that was over guess she got the green light to start again. now all they look for is drinking. with a breath test. she has a new job and it looked like we were heading for a great new year hell i even thought about asking her to marry me boy did that scare me .I got to go to ohio next to see my folks and i hate to leave guess i think if i'm here maybe i can interfer with her smoking but i truly know that won't work my biggest worry is that the smoking will lead back to drinking the way i see it is the addicition is the buzz and how you get it really dont matter.thank you all so much and have a very safe and happy holiday guitarzan