Good grief, I certainly won't flame you, and don't know why anyone would!
I am so sorry for what that fellow who was 20+ years sober said to you. I can't say I've ever heard that one before.
I don't know what 'young' is considered, but I was 28 when I entered rehab and found recovery.
You ask if there is anything between sobriety and being an unhappy drunk/user?
I consider myself sober, and with a reasonable amount of happiness
Today I am able to live my life on life's terms, and feel good about who I am.
It took time and a lot of hard work, on a daily basis.
Sure, I've had some rough times in recovery, but nothing compared to how bad it got before I found recovery.
I'm comfortable in my own skin, and that is such a gift for me because I suffered from that feeling of being 'different' for most of my life