SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

bob_sapp · 03-02-2008, 03:33 PM

Is this even possible? In my darkest moments I have asked myself why I ever got sober. Simply enough, drugs and alcohol didn't work for me. I decided to surrender. I think when addiction is concerned, there is no middle ground. Is there anything between sobriety and being an unhappy drunk/user? Sometimes I felt like I had a taste of it, but I could never get it like the people I wanted to be like. I don't think I ever will. Especially now.

When I was a year or so sober(age 23), a guy who was good friends with my sponsor told me "No offense... but you've gotta be stupid to get sober before you're 35." I couldn't believe that someone with over 20 years sober, who was respected and was kind of the "alpha male" of his group of friends would say this to me. The guy is dead now, and he said this to me over a year ago, but it still bothers me from time to time. Did he have anything I want? Hell no. It is people like him who make me want to stay sober because I never, ever, ever want to be 20 years sober and saying spirit-crushing things like that to someone new to sobriety.

I don't want to look back one day and think that the only reason I got sober is because my liver was failing, and I had conned and back stabbed every single person I could in the world, and finally had nowhere to hide. I don't want to be one of those lonely guys in their 50's who is sober, but hates life and spends his free time gambling, smoking, and watching sports.

I hope god has a plan for me and some grand plan for why I am not dead or going through life numb, drinking and drugging away my problems. Until then, all I can do is work my steps, pray, seek out good fellowship, and get by ODAAT.

After writing all this, it sounds like a dumb question to which I already know the answer, just thought I would share---please don't flame.

03-02-2008, 03:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
bob_sapp Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: witness protection program Posts: 381	stupid to get sober young? Is this even possible? In my darkest moments I have asked myself why I ever got sober. Simply enough, drugs and alcohol didn't work for me. I decided to surrender. I think when addiction is concerned, there is no middle ground. Is there anything between sobriety and being an unhappy drunk/user? Sometimes I felt like I had a taste of it, but I could never get it like the people I wanted to be like. I don't think I ever will. Especially now. When I was a year or so sober(age 23), a guy who was good friends with my sponsor told me "No offense... but you've gotta be stupid to get sober before you're 35." I couldn't believe that someone with over 20 years sober, who was respected and was kind of the "alpha male" of his group of friends would say this to me. The guy is dead now, and he said this to me over a year ago, but it still bothers me from time to time. Did he have anything I want? Hell no. It is people like him who make me want to stay sober because I never, ever, ever want to be 20 years sober and saying spirit-crushing things like that to someone new to sobriety. I don't want to look back one day and think that the only reason I got sober is because my liver was failing, and I had conned and back stabbed every single person I could in the world, and finally had nowhere to hide. I don't want to be one of those lonely guys in their 50's who is sober, but hates life and spends his free time gambling, smoking, and watching sports. I hope god has a plan for me and some grand plan for why I am not dead or going through life numb, drinking and drugging away my problems. Until then, all I can do is work my steps, pray, seek out good fellowship, and get by ODAAT. After writing all this, it sounds like a dumb question to which I already know the answer, just thought I would share---please don't flame.