Sending mothering prayers, Barb, of comfort and also (here comes the mothering side) words to tell you that you are being led already and to just trust and travel in faith, even if it's blind faith.
I've had good jobs and bad, and they all helped guide me to finding what was right for "ME".
I'm older than you and it was only a couple of years ago that I decided right or wrong to take my own path and find a job that was rewarding and left me feeling good at the end of the day. I began working for myself, freelance, for a while and that led to a couple of interesting contracts that led me to a job working in the field of addiction (gee, THAT shoe fit), and I love every moment of it. Get this....every single person I work for and with is in recovery of one kind or another and each has several years of good stuff under their belt. There are no "attitudes" or bad days there, and I love every moment of it.
My point is that I just let go of the anxiety, decided to love myself enough to only do what was right for me, and then let God show me the way. A series of coincidences got me here, and I've heard it said that coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
I know you well enough to know that you are a terrific person with many gifts, and this surrogate mama is going to just believe in you until you can believe in yourself...because that's what we mamas do best.
Learn from good people and learn from jerks...they each have lessons to share. Then grab the brass ring and just go for what works for you.
Mama size hugs
