SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - My partner / ex is on self destruct. I can't make him seek help can I?

***nandm*** · 02-25-2008, 04:11 PM

I can completely relate to the Dr Jekyll and You Better Run and Hyde personality of alcoholism. It was me in the last 5 years of my drinking. I never knew who I would be and I am sure if I had continued drinking it only would have gotten worse.

I can honestly say though that there is no power that could have convinced me to stop drinking until I was able to accept the concept that the disease was not only killing me but everyone who cared about me as well. Once I grasped that concept I started getting serious about stopping drinking. Unfortunately, quitting without the help of a recovery program was not something I was able to do with any long term results. I will have 7 years sober on the 13th of next month, thanks to finding the program of AA.

I am concerned about the part of your post where you state he is violent when drunk although with inatimate objects right now. What worries me about this is that usually people with enough anger in them to be destructive to objects eventually progress to taking their anger out on people and animals if they do not find a way to deal with their anger. An example of this happened in my city this past year. An alcoholic retired from the fire department. Was divorced and living with his mother. Had tried several times to stop drinking. I had even run into him in meetings he seemed nice enough then. One morning after a blackout he woke up next to the dead body of his 93 year old mother that he had strangled to death while in a drunken blackout. We can not predict what an alcoholic will do when in a blackout.

My thoughts are I would consider finding an ALANON meeting (they help peolpe who are in relationships with alcoholics learn how to deal with what is going on within their relationship). This group has helped many and continues to do so. As I have not lived with an active alcoholic since I found sobriety I have no experience to share with you there but there will be someone along who may be able to share their experience soon. You might also consider posting in our friends and family of alcoholics forum as there are many people there who have faced or are currently facing similiar situations as yours. Here is a link to that area.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/

Welcome to SR. It is great to have you here.

02-25-2008, 04:11 PM	#3 (permalink)
*nandm* Life the gift of recovery! Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Home is where the heart is Posts: 6,580	I can completely relate to the Dr Jekyll and You Better Run and Hyde personality of alcoholism. It was me in the last 5 years of my drinking. I never knew who I would be and I am sure if I had continued drinking it only would have gotten worse. I can honestly say though that there is no power that could have convinced me to stop drinking until I was able to accept the concept that the disease was not only killing me but everyone who cared about me as well. Once I grasped that concept I started getting serious about stopping drinking. Unfortunately, quitting without the help of a recovery program was not something I was able to do with any long term results. I will have 7 years sober on the 13th of next month, thanks to finding the program of AA. I am concerned about the part of your post where you state he is violent when drunk although with inatimate objects right now. What worries me about this is that usually people with enough anger in them to be destructive to objects eventually progress to taking their anger out on people and animals if they do not find a way to deal with their anger. An example of this happened in my city this past year. An alcoholic retired from the fire department. Was divorced and living with his mother. Had tried several times to stop drinking. I had even run into him in meetings he seemed nice enough then. One morning after a blackout he woke up next to the dead body of his 93 year old mother that he had strangled to death while in a drunken blackout. We can not predict what an alcoholic will do when in a blackout. My thoughts are I would consider finding an ALANON meeting (they help peolpe who are in relationships with alcoholics learn how to deal with what is going on within their relationship). This group has helped many and continues to do so. As I have not lived with an active alcoholic since I found sobriety I have no experience to share with you there but there will be someone along who may be able to share their experience soon. You might also consider posting in our friends and family of alcoholics forum as there are many people there who have faced or are currently facing similiar situations as yours. Here is a link to that area. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-alcoholics/ Welcome to SR. It is great to have you here. __________________ NOTE: All BB quotes are from the 1st Edition of the Big Book Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.