Matt;
None of us are doctors here. So, I would do exactly as your doctor suggests.
Please do not accept medical advice over the internet from strangers; even well meaning ones. They do not know your medical background, and do not have the knowledge to speak about it from a *medical* standpoint. Too many well meaning people in programs have led others down a dark road, against needed medication. Unfortunately, there have been relapses and even suicides as a result of such advice. My own son was one of them. Only your doctor and you have the knowledge necessary to make these types of personal decisions.
Having said that, if you have such reservations, why are you not speaking to your doctor about them? An open and honest communication with your doctor is the best way to maintain your mental health.
I might just add, too, but, isn't it your best thinking that got you where you are?
(An old AA saying, aimed at your "philosophical" note about cheating.) Perhaps it's time to listen to someone else for a bit, till you learn how to do it yourself?
Just a thought....
Wishing you the best. Please continue to let us know how it's going.
Shalom!