[serenityqueen]

Congratulations Butterfly for making the decision to LIVE!!!!

You asked for someone to tell you that it does get better and you can do it?


Here I am!

I used for 32 years, most of that time I was having a love affair with opiates. I first put myself into tx in 1980. I just hadn't truly hit my bottom and also, I don't think I truly wanted to quit, I just wanted to learn how to control my usage. Hah! I had been in and out of tx, AA/NA, you name it since then. On July 25, 2005, I was so dope sick I couldn't imagine making it through the day, much less the hour. I never dreamed someone could feel so horrible and still be alive. I had built such a tollerance that I don't see how I didn't OD. I was using an average of 80 - 90 Vicodin ES a day! It took the initial wake up dose of 20 just to be able to get up, shower and get ready to go look for more. I was soooooo sick. I I have been Clean, Sober and in Recovery since. I have a little over 2 1/2 years in my new life! It was hard, I'm not going to lie to you. But if you truly want to be Clean, Free and Happy, you can do it! I suggest lots of meetings, get a Sponsor, Use that Sponsor, get lots of phone numbers and use them. I see that you have a relationship with God already, He will be your strongest supporter ever! Be open, honest and willing. If I were told that if I stood on my head, naked, whistled a show tune in the middle of Main St. during rush hour traffic, I would be able to stay clean just one more day, I would have asked what tune shall I whistle and on what street? You have to want this. Anythings possible. If you'd like to send me a personal message, I'd be happy to exchange some one on one info on what else really helped me.

A final thought. My Sponsor told me when I first wake up each morning to ask God, "please" And if I made it through that day, say "thank you" If you have to begin with an hour at a time, then so be it. Just remember, anythings possible if only you believe!