Thanks everyone for your responses. I have accepted the fact that i can no longer do anything to help him but walk away....it is just hard to do living here still.
It has taken me a long time to realize that there is Nothing in this world that can help him unless he chooses to seek help for himself. It is just hard walking away from someone you love so much and your hands are tied.
The one thing that has sort of helped me be strong in the past couple of weeks is the fact that he is still drinking.
Some nights he comes home and others he does not. He no longer hides the alcohol and I no longer look for clues. He has told me a few times when he has come home from drinking that he was just at a friends house. Personally I think that he is sitting up at a smokey bar by himself by the way he smells of smoke. The lies continue....this time though it does not hurt me as bad it just makes walking away a little easier.
Well honestly it does not make it easier but just a little more bearable. I still hurt and I still cry but my one good friend says that it is just a part of the process.......just want to know when I will start feeling better again. I can't wait to be happy again and not be pretending.