While it's true that those with mental illness often use drugs, including alcohol, to self medicate, we still cannot enable the use or abuse of substances. There still needs to be boundaries that are held firm.
My son is bipolar and a heroin addict, now in recovery. He has slips, now and then. Thankfully, they are infrequent, and short lasting. However, there is ZERO tolerance today. No money, no free housing, no support....He's 27 years old, and he has got to learn to do for himself. I will not be around forever, and if he doesn't learn now, what will he do when I'm gone?
Enabling is not love. It's dependance; it's disrespect; it's controlling. Love is letting them grow into the person they are capable of becoming. And that required me to let him go, with full love in my heart. We had to make our mistakes; so will they. We learned from ours; so will they. I have not always been perfect at this. I've faltered, but, it's all about progress, isn't it.
I the end, they will be better because we allowed them to grow up. :>)
I hope this makes sense to you. Know that you are not alone.
Edit: I just read your other thread. Since he is newly diagnosed, and only just new to the mental health system, there may be twists and turns in the treatment program. It is very possible that he may need your help for some time. Consequently, some of what I've written above may not apply for the time being -- with the exception of the illegal drugs. Zero tolerance should still hold fast and true, in my opinion.
Once he is stable, that's a horse of a differernt color though. And you do him no favor to enable him. Doing for others when they cannot do for themselves is love. Doing for others what they can and should do for themselves is enabling, and that's when it's dependance; it's disrespect; it's controlling.
I'm sorry if I've confused you.... Please know, you and your son are in my prayers. I understand, cuz, I've been there.
Shalom!