Cher -
So glad to hear from you. I so understand where you are and that is exactly what I told ABF(now RAH) many moons ago. I wasn't ready to tell him goodbye if he was willing to stop using drugs and alcohol. He hasn't used since so know that it can be done. The best thing that I have done is to work my own recovery program. I would not have made it through this fire without it. It's so worth it to do for yourself. Keep posting - It's helped me a lot to have a place to vent. Trust yourself and follow the path that is best for you and your kids.
Take care, Donna