2-3
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If he does not want to stop drinking, don't waste time trying to persuade him. You may spoil a later opportunity.
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This is a program for people who want it. There are unfortunately many who need to recover but do not want to. We wish to attract the prospect to our solution rather than waste our time with promotion. Timing our approach to reach the prospect when the desire to stop is likely to be strongest is our best plan. After a binge alcoholics many times regret their actions and truly wish they had the power to stop drinking altogether. This is the best time to approach them with the promises of a real solution. The key is that they must want to quit drinking for good.
9-15
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Usually it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge. The family may object to this, but unless he is in a dangerous physical condition, it is better to risk it. Don't deal with him when he is very drunk, unless he is ugly and the family needs your help.. Wait for the end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval. Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so. If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered. You should be described to him as one of a fellowship who, as a part of their own recovery, try to help others, and who will be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you.
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Stopping drinking has to be our own idea. We alcoholics are obstinate. We resist taking directions from others. The directions here are to wait until the prospect is emerging remoseful from a spree and truly wants to quit drinking once and for all.
17
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Neither should the family hysterically plead with him to do anything, nor should they tell him much about you.
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"Frothy emotional appeals seldom suffice" (xxvi:3). Waiting until the alcoholic comes off a binge may be the best time to suggest they seek a solution. The hopelessness of their current state is most clear at this time. Resistance to the truth will be low at this time. If our message has depth and weight we will be most likely to gain their attention.
19
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You might place this book where he can see it in the interval.
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This book has a proven record of being able to transmit the message of recovery to alcoholics. It is laid out in such a manner as to present us with information we need in the sequnece we need to understnad it. First the hopelessness of our physical condition is explained. Next, a story of an alcoholic tells what it was like, what happened and what it is like now. Hope of a solution is given to us followed by a chapter that illustrates the mental state that condemns an alcoholic to continue drinking despite the ever worsening consequences. These chapters help us to take our first step towards recovery.
Source:
The Annotated AA Handbook
Frank D