Thank you all for your replies, they helped me a lot.
The abilify is supposed to take the strange thoughts and feelings away, which it has some, but maybe I should get the dose increased? I am hesitant to tell my doc (or anyone else around me) about the paranoia and continued delusions (if they are in fact delusions.) I don't trust anyone, even my therapist, who is a great guy and has helped me a lot after I attempted suicide because of the "delusions" but I don't know his real intentions. And if I am being followed and watched he might not even know that unless the NSA has contacted him and he is working for them. So do you see that I can't really trust anyone? But if I'm right then they are reading this so what does it matter anyway, I'm completely alone now.
I don't really mind staying at home, it is somewhat comforting and I don't leave much. And I didn't really lose my job, I quit because my bosses were conspiring against me. At least they might have been, I'm not so sure now, but that bridge is burned anyway. I'm so confused. I feel like I could fall back into it again. I need rest but my mind won't let me rest
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