[DaVinci2]

Things were going kind of OK for a while. My mother in law was taken off Paxil and started to become less depressive and more mindful of her daughter (My wife), but it almost seems as though she KNOWS exactly when to not act normal, and to do things she's NOT suppose to do. Today is valentines day and my wife cooked me a nice meal (In Japan, the girl does everything for the boy, romance wise, and next month on the 14th it's called white day and it's the opposite). Anyways, things were going well until my MIL started to complain about something, she wasn't feeling well etc. I am sympathetic to her feelings, however, I've told her in the past that unless she's in a state where she needs our attention (As in she's feeling the urge to go to the hospital) or even close to that, that she should approach us...but to NOT do it for attention, which is "Oh, I don't feel so well, I feel a bit dizzy...but no, I'll be fine." At this point my wife gets angry, unable to help since it's really only attention that's being sought. It's like a wave with her...I tell her in a very nice way that 3 of us live in this place, and that we all need to make certain sacrifices. My wife can't be there to take care of her every wish, just like she can't be there for everything I wish we could do. She also needs her own time...then my MIL agrees...and for a while all goes well, but then like a wave, it slowly rolls down until CRASH, something like tonight. And it always happens on days when something important is happening.

No, I can't put her in a home. I can't afford nursing. There's no real help for seniors in Japan. I have to live with it. AND, as harsh is this might sound, right now our life (That of mine and my wife) is on hold until she dies. It's mentally exhausting on many levels. I don't want her to die, but I'm anchored to her until she does. I know my wife feels the same way, but she won't put it into words...neither of us has, as it is not something we wish for. But at least I put it in writing, which has taken some of the stress off the current situation.