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dotcom,
coming here and writing down your feelings is an excellent way to grieve. If you feel like crying cry, if you feel like writing write. Keep in mind though it was a fantasy, and the reality is a good, healthy relationship does not hurt, and does not leave you scared. You will find a man that knows how to treat you, and don't settle for less.
I have been in an addictive relationship as well. That emotional rollar coaster is hard to get away from. It took me years, so you are ahead of the game. Young, sober, so much possibilities for you. Please take advantage of them, you deserve it.
Juls
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Think World Peace
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