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Step one is the foundation to all the rest and is more important than I thought when I first heard it. It also has rich implications that have taken me time to learn and appreciate.
It's simple to say -- Well sure, I'm powerless over whatever ... my life is unmanageable ... in this particular area.
It took time, but I see now that at first I left out "admitted" and re-wrote the ending to my own meaning, i.e. "in this area." I'd hear or read step one every week at the first Al-Anon meetings I went to and think -- It's a nice step and yep, people have to first acknowledge a problem before they can do anything about it.
I also thought it didn't really apply to me, but I went through the motions with everyone because I could feel the peace and serenity and wanted to make it my own. What first got me to those meetings was a crisis in my marriage and I thought it was my spouse with the problem. It took several years in and out the doors until three years ago I returned for good and found a sponsor.
Back to Step 1: "Admitted" has come to mean so much more to me now. To "admit" has a great deal more behind it than meets the eye. I had to become AWARE I had a problem with food in order to admit it.
To me this step is mostly about awareness; the kind of awareness that includes what I feel and think and how I behave -- what happens because of it. To truly understand requires serious personal work if I really want to "get it" and remember what I'm working on -- me, myself, and I.
That's all for now. Thanks,
Nea
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