Quote:
Originally Posted by nandm 
What is required to overcome alcoholism is more than just a moderation of outward behaviors, but a total reorganization of the character of the alcoholic. Doctor Silkworth called it an entire psychic change (xxvii:2). Doctor Jung and Alcoholics Anonymous call it a spiritual experience (25:8-10, 27:9-12, 60:1, Appendix II).
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For years I struggled to find this thing called a psychic change. It was not sold at the counter of the local AA club and conversation over coffee after meetings never included this topic. Not one of my Sponsors was able to explain to me in terms I could understand what the psychic change was.
I learned 22 years after coming into Alcoholics Anonymous for the first time that the start of a psychic change came from two critical factors;
1. Be full of booze with the desperation of a dying man.
2. Find God, any God, but find God.
Fortunately, I met the man who led me on the path of a new life and he explained again and again the nature of hope that propels the dying to life. Changing a lifetime's experience fueled by beverage Alcohol and chaotic thinking and behaviors needed to start with a desperation for change; nothing else will do. The desperate man or woman has lost all hope and without hope there is only a shadowy world of pain and suffering. This is the fertile ground for a truly new start, if the new man or woman is willing to separate themselves from the known and venture to the unknown. Many of us returned to the known; we drank again after a period of not drinking because we never believed that the unknown was simply the boundary to freedom. How could we trust another’s story of the unknown; that freedom was virtually moments away from us if we only asked for it? All we had ever experienced was the captivity of Alcoholism, how could we believe that something magical was within our grasp?
Fear of believing another and fear of moving toward something unseen was beyond our imagination and the cruel hands of Alcoholism came once again to clutch us ever closer as we went on to our final demise. Like the sweetest lover, we willingly returned to the drink to take away any fear, any uncomfortable feelings. We were cowards. It is easy to see today, that having no hope will drive anyone to the traitorous path of self destruction.
Before God, before family, before employment, before friends or ideals or passions, I must find that sliver of hope that powers the decision to change from the dying to the living. This task must come first, no power, no man can do it for me. At the beginning, I must be responsible to make a decision. The shape of hope is different for each of us, yet this hope contains everything for the start of a new life and it will provide us the needed resolve to move away from the darkness and into the light. Reaching across the crevice that is filled with all of my failures, all of my losses and all of my pain and suffering is the welcomed hand of a loving God who will stand with us and protect us. This is truly the beginning of a fundamental change both in the mind and the heart.
So, knowing now that the unknown holds hope and promise for change, I can now accept that there is life after Alcohol. This is the true acceptance of Step 1.