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Tammie...
We are here for you on the forum. All of your stuff is kicking up and remember, it's only a feeling and it too, shall pass. It's okay to freak out here, but don't order the Xanax. It's okay to talk about the urges stirred up by hearing the words, Morphine, Klonopin, Dilaudid, whatever. Just don't act on it.
You need to know that you are a special being for your kids and for yourself. You have a problem with extreme anxiety and there is help. You know this and would be telling me the same thing. I was dx'd with Panic Disorder in the early 90s and eventually was on 14 mgs of Klonopin. This is the worst withdrawal you can imagine and I went through it with opiates, too. You know what this feels like, my friend. Don't do what you will regret.
Stop beating up on yourself. I'm sure there are several people that have done that for you, already. You are not a bad person. You are not evil. You need support right now. You have mine.
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Ksos
"If Enough people Call You A Duck, You Better Start Quacking."
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