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***Nina Kay*** · 01-14-2008, 12:26 PM

Dearest SSP, I'm so sad to hear that you are struggling even more right now. I recognize everything that you have just said, as feelings and thoughts that I used to have daily about my eating and weight loss. I used to feel so embarassed in front of God and so angry at myself for letting Him down, day after day. He would forgive me everytime and let me know how much He loves me still and then I would just go do it again. I wasn't just letting me down, I was letting my Gracious Loving God down and I just couldn't stand to keep doing that, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. Well, after being in OA for a while and coming here for a while, I learned that my real problem was that I was trying to be the one in control of something that I obviously don't have any control over and my God was waiting for me to relinquish that control and turn it over to Him. I'm supposed to ask Him to take over with my eating disorder because I am powerless over my eating and my life has become unmanageable. I have come to believe that a Power greater than myself (God) can restore me to sanity in this area of my life and I have made a decision to turn my will and my eating disorder over to the care of God. Don't be so hard on yourself anymore please. If you do then I should let you know that I will have to be that hard on myself too. I have been many times.

The first 3 steps of the 12 step program of OA are:
I can't.
God can.
I think I'll let Him.

I've also read this saying lately: If I concentrate on my weight, I will lose my recovery, but if I concentrate on my recovery, I will lose the weight.

Don't quit. Keep coming back. We are here for you. We understand from personal experience what you are dealing with. (((((((((((Loving Hugs))))))))))

01-14-2008, 12:26 PM	#28 (permalink)
*Nina Kay* Accepting Myself As Is Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here @ SR. Posts: 2,855	Dearest SSP, I'm so sad to hear that you are struggling even more right now. I recognize everything that you have just said, as feelings and thoughts that I used to have daily about my eating and weight loss. I used to feel so embarassed in front of God and so angry at myself for letting Him down, day after day. He would forgive me everytime and let me know how much He loves me still and then I would just go do it again. I wasn't just letting me down, I was letting my Gracious Loving God down and I just couldn't stand to keep doing that, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. Well, after being in OA for a while and coming here for a while, I learned that my real problem was that I was trying to be the one in control of something that I obviously don't have any control over and my God was waiting for me to relinquish that control and turn it over to Him. I'm supposed to ask Him to take over with my eating disorder because I am powerless over my eating and my life has become unmanageable. I have come to believe that a Power greater than myself (God) can restore me to sanity in this area of my life and I have made a decision to turn my will and my eating disorder over to the care of God. Don't be so hard on yourself anymore please. If you do then I should let you know that I will have to be that hard on myself too. I have been many times. The first 3 steps of the 12 step program of OA are: I can't. God can. I think I'll let Him. I've also read this saying lately: If I concentrate on my weight, I will lose my recovery, but if I concentrate on my recovery, I will lose the weight. Don't quit. Keep coming back. We are here for you. We understand from personal experience what you are dealing with. (((((((((((Loving Hugs)))))))))) __________________ Acceptance is key to my Serenity. Nina Kay Last edited by Nina Kay; 01-14-2008 at 12:42 PM.