The more time that went by in my recovery I realized the the circle of hell for me was the vicious cycle of my alcoholism. Drink to numb the pain. Pain wouldn't go away, drink some more. As time went by in my recovery I realized that the hell were the reasons I drank in the first place. My low self-esteem, damaged pride/ego, personal relations with others, etc. My life was ran by fear and resentment. I was my own worse enemy. I lived my life by my own self reliance. The same self that chose to handle my problems by pouring drink, after drink down my throat. For me it was either I chose to do nothing and the progression of my alcoholism would progress me into oblivion, or I would have to make changes to break my vicious circle of hell. I chose the latter. Day by day I work to maintain my change so I don't return back into that vicious circle. The world won't change for you, you must change first.
Tom