Bardee,
I think the question here is what are your boundaries?
For me, setting boundaries didn't come quicky or easily. But once I realized that I was enabling my daughter to stay in her addiction when I did not set them, I stepped up to the plate. It wasn't easy, but I finally realized that I did NOT have to accept unacceptable behavior in my home.
And trust me, your son is resourceful. He's landed on his feet time after time, and some of those times you've helped him, Bardee. I recognize that behavior because I was one of those that did the same thing. I rescued or provided a comfortable place to live for my AD. All that did was help her continue to use. Heck, why should she want to change? She had it made in he shade....a warm, nice place to live while she used with no consequences! As my sponsor told me, "Gee, Hangin', this is a user's dream!"
My AD's life began to turn around when I got out of the way, when I quit cushioning her falls, when I let her have the dignity to live her own life, no matter how bad her decisions were.
Maybe think of it this way. Would you let anyone else live in your house and behave in this way?
And if you haven't been doing meetings, Bardee, now would be a good time to find one. Meetings are where I learned how to set the boundaries that were so necessary for me to have some peace in my life.
Prayers for you and your son,
Hangin' In