Juls,
Thanks a lot. You´ve been very helpful.
I still don´t know what to do about my old friend and that´s OK. I have given it away for a while. She has this tendancy to withdraw while in a crisis and I have always respected that.
This time, though, I think I´m evaluating the friendship based on what has happened since she married this man. Maybe it´s not good for me.
She basically stopped talking to all of her friends, me included, and poured all her energies into the marriage. The few times I saw her during that time, she became an extension from him and imitated everything he said. She made a lot of effort to invite his friends. She stopped going to Al-Anon and the way I saw it, lived for him.
I went on a promotion trip to Stockholm with a friend of hers and we spent a lot of time together talking and getting to know each other. This friend was dumped as well when they got married. So now we don´t know what to think.
It feels awful when a friend who once was dear to me is going through such a bad time, but I will let go of her and trust the process.