[nandm]

Thank you for your kind and understanding responses. It means a lot to me.

Although I realize that all of life is a process some days are more difficult than others. I am fortunate that overall most days are pretty good. At least that is my perception. I have a lot of things to work through with the PTSD and the issues surrounding my daughter are a part of that whole process as it tends to pull up feelings from my childhood which justs ads to the anxiety and stress.

I do feel much more positive with this new therapist. She seems quite knowledgable about PTSD and treatments. I do realize it is going to take time and I need to be patient with myself. This did not happen overnight and it is a combination of many different events that have just kept triggering and adding to the original events.

I do realize I have been shut down emotionally for a long time now. An example of this is I have cried one time in almost 15 years and that was when I was large quantities of pain meds laying in the hospital after a serious accident and the nurse was demanding I get up and go to the bathroom. Rather difficult to do when you are just a few days out of surgery that placed a metal rod in your right thigh to repair the shattered bone, have tissue, muscle, and tendon damage to your left leg, a broken right shoulder, and a broken left wrist. On top of that you are not supposed to put weight on the leg you just had surgery on. Thank God for people in my life who demanded that nurse stay out of my room after that. I never had another problem with a nurse that whole time. I think she had an issue with me because I was a recovering alcoholic who had been in a motorcycle wreck. I think she prejudged me as a gutter drunk just seeking drugs. Not as a person trying their best to make their life better and made the mistake of thinking I could learn how to drive a motorcycle.

Thank you again for your kindness.