Hi, Abundance,
And welcome to the MH forum of SR!
If your xabf is bipolar, then the doc's won't give him a straight antidepressant. So, prozac, paxil or zoloft alone or with a benzo is not a good idea. A straight antidepressant often brings on a manic episode. He needs a mood stabilizer, like lithium, or depakote or such...Often, antidepressants are added to that stabilizer.
On the other hand, there is an old saying here on SR. It goes like this:
Q. How can you tell when the addict is lying?
A. Their lips are moving!
What he says is irrelevant. What he *does* is what matters. And he's not going to the doc right away to get meds for a known condition. That's irresponsible. Whether or not he's still using.
I cannot answer the question about the length of time needed to be clean prior to meds. He needs to be brutally honest with his doctor. That doesn't seem very likely right now, unfortunately....
But, you need to take care of *you.* Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. He's your ex and you cannot change what he is doing. Notice, *he* is not here asking the questions; you are. How is this helping *you?*
Please visit the friends and family of substance abuse forum. There are many people there who can help you refocus on what's important for you, right now. Your health and well being.
My son is a heroin addict, now in recovery. So, I fully understand what it is you have been through. Please stop trying to guess what it is he is doing or not doing. You didn't cause it; you can't change it; and you can't cure it. But, you have to care for yourself, or, like me, become quite ill if you don't.
I wish you the best...
Shalom!