In recovery I have been chosen to sever ties with old friends who are still active drinkers and whose lifestyle is unhealthy. I always find it very painful, but in the long run it´s better for me. I usually make new friends soon.
Sometimes I´m not sure if the friends I have are still sick. An old friend has been a lot on my mind lately and I want to ask you what you think.
She´s an actress (theatre) but gave up her career when she married a man she´s crazy about and had a child with him in her forties.
She was married before, but split up with him - he was a heavy drinker - and I helped her get through that. She spent many years alone, and felt so bad about being without a man, she sometimes became heavily depressed and had to be in bed. She was in therapy and Al-anon and has been very active in personal growth.
She met her husband in Al-Anon. He has been a drinker all his life and a womanizer. He was in AA and SA. I met him once in the airport, we both lost our baggage, and I had difficulties getting rid of him. He had lovers all over town and I was appalled when my friend started being with him. I know he has cheated on her several times during their marriage.
After she married him we saw less and less of each other. She had his child and gave up a promising career, and now he is dying of cancer. I have contacted her three times because I know how hard it is, but she has been very unresponsive. She claims there will be a miracle and he will live, but in reality, his chances are nil. She has not answered my last two messages.
I feel hurt by her rejection, but I feel it´s best to sever these ties. Thoughts and comments would be very welcome.