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Old 12-28-2007, 04:59 PM   #1 (permalink)
nandm
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 6,580
Solutions vs sympathy

Quote:
Big Book page 95 sentance 12 - 13.

If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. This he may do after he gets hurt some more.
Many of us experience repeated post spree calls from a remorseful alcoholic. Though for awhile they feel terrible and are full of contrition soon they are feeling better and see no reason to adopt such a drastic solution as theone we offer. We hear no more from them until they once again emerge from a spree. This can be a tedious process.

Many alcoholics, dry for now, fail to work the steps. They call their sponsors repeatedly with relationship, marital, work related, and financial problems. They are under the mistaken impression that the temporary relief we get from talking about our problems is in some way dealing successfully with them. We only harm them by allowing them to hide from their problems by talking rather than taking the necessary action. All we can do is to remind these unfortunate souls of where the solution to all their problems lie.

Sympathy will not solve an alcoholics problem. I feel that encouragement, kindness, and compassion are an essential part of helping the alcoholic; but without the guidance and teaching of how to apply the solution (the Steps and Principles) to one's problems those things are not effective in helping the alcoholic stay sober or find sobriety.

Thoughts?
Experiences?
Comments?
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NOTE: All BB quotes are from the 1st Edition of the Big Book
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
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