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Fernando · 12-25-2007, 11:22 AM

Okay I admitted my disease about 5 years ago. Been through the crisis hospitalization bit tied down to a bed like 4 times... and here I am again not drinking my meds... (only for 4 days)... I've been sleeping in and by the time I wake up the rythm is all messed up and I missed two doses out of three so what's the point in taking the third one? After all it's only for these few days of Christmas.... when I go back to work (yeah I can work while I'm on my meds!) I'll get the rhythm back.

My real problem is that I've done some partying during the holidays... of the coke kind. And it's getting really hard to stop using. My God please don't tell me how bad it is for me because I know exactly how bad it is... Lithium and coke make a deadly mix... but I'm on party mode and I forgot where the off switch is.

I'll get help. Today! I posted my number on the NA page and I'm standing by my phone. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and I'm really doing some damage using with my condition... I'm saying all of this to share with whoever reads this that being bipolar is really hard. I don't have the experience yet of knowing when I'm going into crisis... but I'm doing everything that I'm not supposed to and I'm playing with fire.

Can anyone out there relate to my situation? I'm going in for a visit to the psych on the 28th... should I come clean with him? The whole reason I started using was to be able to get out of bed in the morning... I've been sleeping 18 hours a day for the past year but he won't prescribe anti-depressants worried that it may trigger a manic attack. So I'm stuck in a vicious cycle. I snort a 20 in the morning to shake off the sleep... and one in the evening to stay awake. But I promise myself this much: It's going to stop TODAY! I took the first step: recognize that I have a really bad problem... and the second step is to seek out some counsel and some help.

Has anyone been in my shoes before? How did you stop? Did you do it by yourself? Well, I hope someone can give me some advise because I'm open for it!

12-25-2007, 11:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
Fernando Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 10	Bipolar II Self Awareness Blog Okay I admitted my disease about 5 years ago. Been through the crisis hospitalization bit tied down to a bed like 4 times... and here I am again not drinking my meds... (only for 4 days)... I've been sleeping in and by the time I wake up the rythm is all messed up and I missed two doses out of three so what's the point in taking the third one? After all it's only for these few days of Christmas.... when I go back to work (yeah I can work while I'm on my meds!) I'll get the rhythm back. My real problem is that I've done some partying during the holidays... of the coke kind. And it's getting really hard to stop using. My God please don't tell me how bad it is for me because I know exactly how bad it is... Lithium and coke make a deadly mix... but I'm on party mode and I forgot where the off switch is. I'll get help. Today! I posted my number on the NA page and I'm standing by my phone. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and I'm really doing some damage using with my condition... I'm saying all of this to share with whoever reads this that being bipolar is really hard. I don't have the experience yet of knowing when I'm going into crisis... but I'm doing everything that I'm not supposed to and I'm playing with fire. Can anyone out there relate to my situation? I'm going in for a visit to the psych on the 28th... should I come clean with him? The whole reason I started using was to be able to get out of bed in the morning... I've been sleeping 18 hours a day for the past year but he won't prescribe anti-depressants worried that it may trigger a manic attack. So I'm stuck in a vicious cycle. I snort a 20 in the morning to shake off the sleep... and one in the evening to stay awake. But I promise myself this much: It's going to stop TODAY! I took the first step: recognize that I have a really bad problem... and the second step is to seek out some counsel and some help. Has anyone been in my shoes before? How did you stop? Did you do it by yourself? Well, I hope someone can give me some advise because I'm open for it!