[Ann]

My son, who is recovery for crack addiction, hasn't called or spoken to me since last Monday.
He was dishonest with me about something and the truth fell in my lap, so to speak, and when I asked him about it he said he would call me back and hasn't. It wasn't a BIG deal issue, but it wasn't a small one either and I am prepared to "discuss' it calmly and responsibly. I called once, yesterday and left a message, and he is still living at his "clean house" so I presume is still clean. I am leaving it at that.

In my pre-recovery days I would have stewed, worried, felt guilty for even mentioning it, cried, and hung by my phone as if it wre my lifeline. Today, i feel fine, a little concerned but really fine. And I feel fine because I have learned to do healthy things for ME when this type of situation happens. I have had a busy productive week, had dinner with a friend and shopped for strange shower curtains, read a good book, and enjoyed my garden.

So....after that short introduction...I decided to make a list for those of you who are too overwhelmed to think of things to do. And the secret is, do them even when you really don't feel like it. That's when you NEED to do them most.

READ - anything, a recovery book, or to escape all thought processes for a while, read a good novel, a biography, a funny book, a "style" magazine, a travel book....but read. Take you mind on a vacation.

MUSIC - sing out loud, even if you don't have a voice like an angel (I don't), sing with your kids, dance around, excercise to music (just make it up as you go), listen to some great "oldies", go to a concert, many are cheap or free, but let the music happen.

GARDEN/WALK/RUN/BIKE - do lots of outdoor exercise and enjoy the beauty of nature while you are there. Take the kids on a "nature" hunt, finding wild flowers, or looking at difference birds. This can be done right in the city (I live in Toronto and there is lots of nature here).

BE WITH PEOPLE - call a friend to visit, go to church and join in one of their activites, ask someone from your meeting to go to a movie with you, ask a neighbour to "walk" with you. Take a senior to lunch or out somewhere that would be a treat for them, for a drive through the country or a walk through a garden..seniors just love this and are often lonely too.

DREAM - not of what might have been, but of what you might like to do someday. It is a dream so it can be anything. Pick up some travel folders and find a place you would like to go. Look at cheap trips, or camping sites and plan a camping trip with the kids or with a friend.

DO FUN THINGS WITH YOUR CHILDREN - they are probably having a bad time now too. Plan a campout in the backyard, campsongs, weenies, and all. Go on a picnic, you don't have to go far, go to a river, a lake, a park, but go.

TREAT YOURSELF - Light candles, soak in a big bubble bath, paint your nails (fingers and toes)
and do something different with your hair.

DAY TRIPS - go out for the day to flea markets, garage sales, country stores, historical sites, old cemetaries (some great stories on those tombstones), it doesn't have to cost anything.

I hope you get the idea and that this helps. It is part of our "survival" kit to know how to enjoy the day.

And if you have any suggestions to add to this list, please do, because we sometimes have a lot of time on our hands and doing healthy things is a very healing process.

Hugs