[nandm]

Day 5

Forgiving ourselves

"Getting out of a rut is the highest mountain we have to climb." anonymous

If we have thoroughly absorbed the message of guilt-innocence that we explored in an earlier step, then we've accepted the fact that if it hadn't been for our disease, we would have handled our lives and affairs very differently.

This being so, one of the first amends we need to make is to ourselves. We need to forgive ourselves for behaving in a manner that caused others disappointment and hurt. In order to do this, we need to remind ourselves that even when we were caught up in the progression of our disorder, we did the very best we could at the time. And further, at this phase of our recovery, there is no way we could or would behave in the same manner as we did then. Our finer nature, which was buried so long under the blanket of our addiction/compulsion, now comes to the fore. Today we know that we have sufficient positive attributes to act in an honest and acceptable manner.

We always evaluate ourselves in a much harsher manner than we would judge others who have committed similiar offenses. This very attitude is a form of inverse pride.

Today's Step: I make amends to myself by letting go of unrealistic guilt.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink