[nandm]

Day 4

Victims

"If you are pointing the finger at someone, three are pointing back at you!"

We may be having difficulties with the Fourth and Fifth Steps because we do not view ourselves as transgressors, but rather as victims.

For example, take divorce. Many of us who've gone through the experience feel we did everything in our power to save the marraige. It was our mate who refused to change.

We point to the fact that we were self-sacrificing, patient, and understanding of our partner's failings, that we practiced forgiveness again and again despite continued episodes that were very hurtful to us.

In taking our inventory, we admitted to the seven deadly sins only as they related to our envy of others who had a stable marraige. Our pride was simply the act of trying to put on a good public face, despite the pain we were experiencing; our greed was our desire for a more abundant and fullfilling lifestyle; our anger we considered a perfectly normal response to the treatment we were suffering.

As we work Step Five, we can begin to admit to our contributions to our life's difficultities. We can stop being victims.

Today's Step: I release the need to blame others for my own shortcomings.

Step by Step. Muriel Zink