[nandm]

Day 4

Ploys

"It is difficult to live in the present, ridiculous to live in the future and impossible to live in the past." Jim Bishop

As we review the list we made in Step Eight, we can now attempt to sort out our prospective amendees. Step Nine makes it clear that we must make amends "except when to do so would injure them or others."

We need to carefully assess whether our making amends might affect not only the persons with whom wew wish to clear the air, but also others associated with them. For instance, if we were involved in some unsavory business deal, we have to consider whether we might implicate others who were also involved. We must carefully weigh the value of clearing our own conscience against the difficulties our disclosures might cause them.

Frequently, our immediate thought is: "Great! This gets me off the hook with lots of folks, because making amends to some of them would create a domino effect." When we work Step Nine we have to be sure that we don't make it just another ploy in an attempt to avoid humiliating ourselves in front of others. The intent of Step Nine is not meant soley as a means of clearing our own conscience and relieving us of further responsibility. We do need to carefully consider the impacct it may have on others. And we also need to resist the temptation to avoid as much personal discomfort as we can.

Today's Step: I use discenment in making my ammends

Step by Step. Muriel Zink