[nandm]

I struggled with Step Two mainly with the Higher Power concept. I had become so estranged from any sort of organized religion that my concept of God was a man made, vindictive, judgemental, excuse to hate and judge others.

I had to start simple with my concept of a Higher Power. I understood that there was something more powerful than I in this world. My original concept was based on the fact that electricity/energy is present in everything in the world. Even our heart runs off an form of electrical energy when calcium and potassium ions interact. The concept I came up with was a universal energy. That helped me to get past the God concept.

Today my concept of a HP and organized religion has changed substantially. I am much more accepting toward others religion concepts and beliefs.

I also struggled with the insanity part. I did not want to believe that I was insane as it was one of my fears that since I could not controll alcohol that maybe I had a mental defect, that maybe I was crazy. I feared winding up locked up in a mental facility. I realize now that the insanity was the alcoholism. Although I do have some mental defects, which are helped with outside help, I am pretty much as sane as the next person.

I am grateful for the sanity that the program and the Steps have brought me.