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I have this problem often. I'm not sure what to tell you. All I know is that sometimes people forgive me without having to give them a proper explanation or apology. I'm lucky to have people who are mostly open-minded and who know that I am normally a mild-tempered, loving person. They may be bothered by some of my actions, but I think they have hope (more so than I sometimes, that I'll pull through).
Maybe your anxiety is making your relationships seem harder than they are. For example, your mom says you don't have to repay her, yet you still will because you want to. That's fine and admirable, but notice, you do not have to feel bad about that whole situation because she seems forgiving and understanding. It doesn't seem like you have to explain yourself with this one.
You have to allow yourself to make mistakes, even if it's the same ones over and over again.
I don't know ... as I said, I have a similar problem.
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