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Old 12-01-2007, 01:07 AM   #4 (permalink)
St_Kurt
cunning. baffling. powerful.
 
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 183
The problem with comparisons is that someone will always have it worse than you.

I broke up with my fiance in 1999. I haven't had so much as a date since then. I was 29 years old. I am now 36. I also don't have a very healthy family; they are addict/alcoholics and mentally ill as well. They are more prone to violent outbursts than displays of unconditional love.

That's right. 7 years: no kissing, no hugs, holidays and birthdays alone.

But so what?

Does it change who I am as a person? Make me any less "lovable"? Less capable? Less awesome?

No.

Sure it would be nice to have a boyfriend/husband/family to come home to or someone who knew what my favorite book was. It would be great if there was someone out there besides me who knew when my birthday was. I'd love it if I could call my mom when I was down and have her comfort me.

But that's not reality.

Reality is that I am recently permanently disabled and it may interfere with my career as a veterinarian. Reality is that no one has offered me a single word of encouragement regarding this. (My dad recently told me, "I would be less upset by the fact you can't walk, if I knew you were trying to fix it. I don't want a handicapped child.". Okay. Thanks dad, I certainly will try to re-grow the missing muscles in my leg. I'd hate for you to be upset by it.) Reality is that I live alone which means that I have a lot of limitations that I wouldn't have if there were people around to help me out.

I could waste time wishing things were different or I could spend time dealing with what I've got:

I haven't had a date in all that time because I haven't met anyone I'm interested in. There's got to be someone out there though. Just because it's difficult to be a vet who can't walk right doesn't meant it's not possible. My parents are idiots. There's always someone out there who's got it worse.

God doesn't "hate on" anyone, we just make the mistake of expecting too much.

~SK
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