[TexasGirl]

Hi there,
For me, I decided to "go no contact" when I first moved out because I knew I would be very vulnerable to his words. I was certain that if I gave him enough time talking to me, convincing me that he would stop or be okay, I would end up right where I had been again. Distance was key for me. It was really hard to never answer his calls. In fact, I tortured myself further by listening to the endless long messages he left, but I didn't ever call him back or answer. I was just too scared of giving in to him...the torment I put myself through wondering if I should stay or go was too hard to want to ever repeat.

After about 4 months of avoiding him, we finally started to talk some. There was the divorce to deal with and the sale of the house. By then, I had created enough distance emotionally that I knew I wouldn't be conned into coming back. Today (16 months later), we probably chat once every few weeks. It doesn't cause me any emotional pain anymore, so it's nice to touch base sometimes.

All of that to say, I think that no contact is about protecting yourself. I couldn't talk to him when I knew it would hurt or lure me back. I could a little when I got stronger. I have no problem with it now since I have completely moved on and because he is currently maintaining sobriety. If that changes, the last thing I need is a conversation with someone who is that kind of drunk, so I would change things at that point.