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ARealLady · 11-24-2007, 06:50 PM

Trying....I broke off with XABF by telling him (via email and I didn't like doing it that way but we were long distance) that I (not we) was going no contact and therefore breaking off with him until he had been working a 12 step programme for at least a year.

Since, for me, no contact means NO CONTACT, I could not offer support even as a friend much as I wanted to. And then, I have to admit, he had been treating me very much as if I wasn't his friend at all (probably the disease!) so, frankly, I didn't much feel as if I wanted to be his friend at the time of breaking things off. I didn't want to make him promises that he could misinterpret. I had no desire to hold his hand while he got himself sober. Yeah...I felt like a bi*ch, cried myself to sleep and woke up crying too. He got really nasty, accusatory and threatening. That behaviour put an end to my tears and reinforced the no contact.

I don't know how it's all going to be in the future. Maybe IF he does get help and works that programme he won't want anything more to do with me. In the meantime, I am getting on with my life because that's all I can do.

Hugs!....I know this is not easy.

ARL

11-24-2007, 06:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
ARealLady Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 471	Trying....I broke off with XABF by telling him (via email and I didn't like doing it that way but we were long distance) that I (not we) was going no contact and therefore breaking off with him until he had been working a 12 step programme for at least a year. Since, for me, no contact means NO CONTACT, I could not offer support even as a friend much as I wanted to. And then, I have to admit, he had been treating me very much as if I wasn't his friend at all (probably the disease!) so, frankly, I didn't much feel as if I wanted to be his friend at the time of breaking things off. I didn't want to make him promises that he could misinterpret. I had no desire to hold his hand while he got himself sober. Yeah...I felt like a bi*ch, cried myself to sleep and woke up crying too. He got really nasty, accusatory and threatening. That behaviour put an end to my tears and reinforced the no contact. I don't know how it's all going to be in the future. Maybe IF he does get help and works that programme he won't want anything more to do with me. In the meantime, I am getting on with my life because that's all I can do. Hugs!....I know this is not easy. ARL __________________ "The only people that will be allowed in my life are the ones that will "enhance it". ICU at SR 2007