[hippyhippy]

Hi folks,
another step, another thread.

Today I am starting another drug. Sodium valproate. I have put it off for long enough. this weekend I took an overdose and ended up in A&E as I believed that I could not manage one more day feeling as I did. I did not want to die, I just wanted to get off the bus of life for a while I think. This last weekend has taken me to the lowest I want to go. Any lower and I am in deep doo doo. The favoured option of Lithium is on hold as my shrink wants to try this first, as it is 'safe' for me. I believe it is favoured for rapid cyclers too.

However, this weekend has taught me something. I want to be here, alive and with my family. I want to be at home where people really care for me. Hospital is NOT........ absolutely NOT the place for me to be. I have so much in this life to be grateful for and the lows of this horrible illness, whilst absolutely bloody horrible DO come to an end. Just three days ago I would never have believed I would be sitting here writing this feeling so positive.

I am feeling hopeful that by accepting a mood stabiliser, I am on my road to REAL recovery. Not just the short times of stability, or times of feeling elevated, but a real and lasting feeling of normailty. It is all I can wish for really. We have one life and we have to take the chances we can to feel good as we can't do it again eh?

Keep fingers crossed for me guys eh?
Thank you to all who keep supporting me. You folks really are the best on this earth.
Hippy
xxx