We reach bottom when we're ready, and we all have different bottoms. I was very much like your AH, a functioning alcoholic, husband, and father, but Jekyll and Hyde in my disease. And nobody could've convinced me that I had a problem.
What you can do is protect yourself and start on your recovery. Al-Anon is a great place to get started. Have you tried any meetings yet?
Welcome to SR, always good to have someone new join us.
Scott